Love of mine some day you will die But I'll be close behind

I'll follow you into the dark
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the Conceited Republican

Shai, 031789
Yes, inspirations...
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University of London
(London School of Economics)

Maintain a status quo.
Never allow public opinion judge you.


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Way long before
not one of the good days
20090217 @ Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Took the day off from work, made mental preparations to send our late Cousin Bob for burial this afternoon.

This is my first time coming up close to a Muslim's burial. I've seen some previously but from afar.
This time, for the first time, I hear the khutbah when the Uztaz preached for the mass. Readings of Quranic verses were recited, and tears rolled down my cheeks without my consent. Unconsciously I felt this aura of sadness and fear.

Muslim burials aren't similar at all to any other religions. We're reminded of not the deceased, but rather how is he going to answer the Angels when they come to question him the exact same questions the rest of us are going to answer, that is after 7 steps of the last person leaving the burial site.
I've attended religious classes to know the drill. Yet, it's digs me right in my own soul. It haunts me. My uneven faith, not as strong as I thought myself.

I've seen my late grandpa pass away 15 years ago when I was 5. I kissed his cheeks before they brought him to the cemetary. Kissed him for the last time. I've enjoyed his care for me when I was younger when my folks had to go to work. All under his care, I grew till he left.

I've seen my mom's grandaunt who was as close to her as she is like her own mom.

But I have totally no recollection to crying before these two deaths. Cuz I never understood the meaning behind crying and wailing over one's demise.
Naturally, people especially mothers would.

So here I say, when I leave this world and everyone else behind, I don't wish to see or hear anyone cry over me. Just leave and continue reading for me Quran verses, that is more than sufficient.

May Allah bless Cousin Bob's soul.
Amin