Love of mine some day you will die But I'll be close behind

I'll follow you into the dark
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the Conceited Republican

Shai, 031789
Yes, inspirations...
K-Pop
University of London
(London School of Economics)

Maintain a status quo.
Never allow public opinion judge you.


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Way long before
i'm faking, can you tell?
20090412 @ Sunday, April 12, 2009

alright, so my life is going smoothly, pretty good at the moment. maybe my wheel is going the right direction. i feel great, calm and composed. it's not as if i have post-behavioral disorder or something, it's just sometimes i get too excited then the next moment, all over despondent over nothing.

err, okay it's sounding like post-behavioral disorder, now.

anyhooooos.....a few days ago i was disturbed a little bit by a threatening flu that nearly hit me flat. the fear of falling sick was frightening. i felt like shit. it was as if i was high on something and my muscles were so heavy on my body. and my head made me feel i had a 10 tonner on it with my throat feeling so thick with slime and sore from pain. no kidding, no.

so i'm now good. work is getting me to be disciplined. somehow i feel that i'm lacking behind in my sport, taekwondo. it's like i wana do something even more, even bigger. and the feeling is like i haven't actually accomplished my biggest. so there, a confused girl here. i'll resolve it on my own, i suppose?

i have stopped believing and being all positive towards people. not in an emo way or like a depressed kid. and not it a way that i'm loving-human kinda way. it's more of sometimes when you lose your trust, you get all these really really huge chunks of hatred flushing your way and then it results in you hating everyone else? yes?
and then you have another shitty moment like this when you have someone pretending to be your friend but he/she keeps saying things that makes you think he suck to the major-est balls. but deep down i know that in 2-3months down i won't see that bloody friend cuz we're going our seperate ways after which he'll no longer be a bother you. what really irks you is that he/she really is acting on your nerve right now, in this period of time.

so i bar them. block them. online and in real life. like in real life when i'm hanging around or standing somewhere alone and he/she asks or said something... instead of being friendly now and initiate a conversation i just star at him/her blankly and walk away. i have enough friends and i dont need new ones and i know this "new person" will only irritate me with stupid things they have to say.

is that being snobby?

yes maybe. but it's my life. i choose the people with whom i wana mix/hang around with. people who i've ditched are the least important people to me. so why bother if i even delete their numbers from my hp.

and here's another one.
have you been caught in this kinda shitty situations when you really have alot of knowledge and information about something, and then this prick comes speak to you about it with the slightest facts and pretends to know helluva lot of shit. it's just so hard y'know especially when he/she keeps on yakking and you have no room to voice your opinions of which you have tonnes of with regards to the matter. these kinda people makes me think they're freaking superficial. and such a waste of my time.


okay such a freaking long ramble. i just needed something to rant about cuz i just woke up and feeling fungry.

breakfast, anyone?