Love of mine some day you will die But I'll be close behind

I'll follow you into the dark
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the Conceited Republican

Shai, 031789
Yes, inspirations...
K-Pop
University of London
(London School of Economics)

Maintain a status quo.
Never allow public opinion judge you.


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Way long before
give me the strength to carry on
20090623 @ Tuesday, June 23, 2009

To: that special someone,

you're no longer special. cuz i'm moving on.

regards
shai

you make me really sad.
and really happy.
and really angry.
and really annoyed.
and really giddy.
all at once.
but most of the time one by one.

the fucking thing about this is you have no clue.
at least you're showing you have no clue.

i treat you better than i treat all my friends combined.
which makes me hate myself.
because my friends deserve so much better than you from me.
i pick up your calls, reply your missed calls and every single text message.
and this is what i get?

i did it all for you.
walking up early and staining my shoes.
just for you.
i dont mind walking in mud and ruining my new shoes just to get to you.
i dont care if im fucking drenched in the rain.
i dont care if i have to travel 3 hours just to see you for 30 minutes.
i dont care if you talk like shit to me sometimes.
you could at least fucking show something.
how dare you.
how bloody fucking dare you.
i put up with your bipolar shit all the time when normal people give up halfway.
i put up with that shit.
i even put up with your condescending and judgemental shit.

how fucking ridiculous is that coming from me?
i never gave shit to any of my friends when they behave like this to me.

this is why i hate this.
i hate this.
i hate you.
but the line that separates my hate and my **** for you is very thin.
and you're playing it.
like a string it is.
i hope you're not doing it consciously because if you are, you're breaking me.
ive never been broken.
not even cracked.
i dont crack.
and the first time always hurts the most.

i hate how you can turn my moods on and off like a switch.
i hate how you have the power to do that.
i want the power back.
im never putting myself in this situation again.

here's a big fuck you to you.
i dont care anymore.
goodbye.
farewell.
the ride was fun while it lasted.

im running away now.
and im gonna try my best to keep running.