Love of mine some day you will die But I'll be close behind

I'll follow you into the dark
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the Conceited Republican

Shai, 031789
Yes, inspirations...
K-Pop
University of London
(London School of Economics)

Maintain a status quo.
Never allow public opinion judge you.


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Way long before
potato couch
20100306 @ Saturday, March 06, 2010

Can you blame me for being tired, wanting to shut my eyes on several occasions during times when I'm so-called studying?

No you can't. Especially cuz one : you're not in my position to rant, two : i've been staying up late and waking up early and three : i usually take a period of time to get most of the facts into my small-capacity filled brain.

Not that i'm lousy, no. or maybe i am. i've convinced myself that i was a freaking loser back then in secondary, made the same mistake once again when i entered hellhole - RP. (that place is seriously a heavenly hell)

Indeed, i am still a loser at certain random things like being a nice person, liking boys, and maybe even paying my own bills.
(i procrastinate TOO much for this)

Uni life is peaceful, quiet, but times like these when you either don't get what you're reading or you feel like strangling your skinny throat, that's another phase of shit. i do admire those with photogenic memory, i wished i had one. but my physique do not permit me due to all the self-destruction i had when i was much younger in lower classes. no, not drugs tsk, more of like crazy music, movies (no porn, no) and activites which left half of my brain rotting and idling away.

I do feel the strange need to start thinking of what I want in my future.

maybe i could choose the easier route out, settling down working as a salesgirl and never ever get out of the stupid rat race.
maybe not. God forbid.

or i should in fact start considering being a bummer, draining my folk's income and just live off them, as a parasitic couch potato.
cuz let me reveal a secret, i love studying. yes. but im afraid of exams. im afraid of losing. im afraid. just afraid.

of which, for the record, afraid of what, that i havent figured out.
hmm